The Thrifty Thru-Hiker

Recently I’ve come across various articles relating to long distance hiking on a budget.

There was 18 Ways To Prepare Your Wallet For Your Thru-Hike, How to Thru Hike on a budget and The Frugal Backpacker – The $300 Gear Challenge.

Although all three pieces were well written, I felt like they all skirted around the “elephant in the room”, which is………..thru-hikers can sometimes be tighter than a first gear hairpin.

Without further ado, here are ten telltale signs that you’ve made the switch from thriftiness to someone who’s so cheap they won’t even pay attention:

1.  You cried when REI revoked their lifetime return policy in 2013. Two years later the thought of it still makes you tear up.

2. The first thing you do upon arriving at a Hiker Hostel is to rummage through the hiker box. Top-flight tightwads don’t leave it at that. After plundering everything in sight, they then box up all the items they can’t physically carry and mail them back to their parents place, who are then required to forward them to the said tightwad at a later date.

3.  You think $10 is a fair donation to leave for a night’s stay at a Trail Angel’s place. Apparently food, shelter, water, laundry, electricity, gas and internet are all part of the “Thru-Hiker Entitlement Package.”

4. You think that DriDucks Rain suits are overpriced.

Rocking my Big Bird DriDucks jacket during the Cordillera Blanca Traverse | Peru, 2014.

5.  Every eating utensil you’ve ever used on trail is from a fast food restaurant.

6.  You’ve convinced yourself that Motel 6 is so named because you shouldn’t have to split a room with any less than half a dozen people.

7.  You walk out of an AYCE buffet with more food hidden in your backpack than you actually consumed in the restaurant.

8. When passing through trail towns, you regularly get into donnybrooks with local hobos over dumpster scraps.

9. You wait for sales before you purchase instant noodles and plain oatmeal.

10. You buy socks and bandanas from the Thrift store. Undies too.